I’ve thought long and hard about this post. I started this blog so a few friends and family around the world could keep up with progress on the house, but now, people from around the globe have been reading it, and I am conscious that I have left it in a state of suspense. Although I don’t really owe my readers anything, I don’t like to leave things unfinished, so here goes.
Moving day was cold and snowy. Snow is unusual here, and we had already had more than our share this winter. Luckily it didn’t close any roads and the move was straightforward, albeit cold and muddy. We settled in and I was relieved that finally we had achieved our goal after over two years of planning. Now was the time to celebrate, relax, and enjoy our new house. Sadly that was not to be. Three weeks after we moved in my marriage was suddenly over. This is the bit I have thought hard about. Should I name and shame, spill the details, publicly wash the dirty linen? I was tempted! The last two weeks have involved a lot of soul searching and a lot of thought about what is important to me. At the moment, what is important is friends and family. I have been amazed at how many wonderful friends I have. Even people I have thought of as just acquaintances have offered support in many ways. I have had texts, emails, facebook messages, phone calls, quiet words at work and offers of practical help, listening ears and company. Family have been there whenever I have needed them, and not a day goes by without contact. While one person has betrayed me, many many more have supported me. Perhaps this is what makes me feel that I should rise above thoughts of bitterness and revenge.
The house will almost certainly have to be sold – I am hoping for a little time to come to terms with this before I have to decide where and how I will live. The future is an unwritten book at the moment. I’m not sure whether I will continue to blog. At the very least I would need to change the name – from now on it’s going to be all my way!
2 comments:
I followed your homepage link from Bell's sad not.
I'm sorry to read this post and have some idea how you may feel as my own marriage ended suddenly at Christmas after 40 years! I too know the support of family and friends and have been amazed at it.
Take good care of yourself. I thought I was all year. Good support, healthy food, exercise knitting for meditative relaxation, strong shoulders to weep on etc.
However a few weeks ago it all caught up. A severe flu for a week led to pneumonia. I'm sure my body decided it would force me to be still.
Don't make hasty decisions and very, very important, get a good solicitor. I was sure that things could be amicable, but there are many ways of cheating, not counting his original actions etc.
I don't know you, but wish you the best. I'm a strong, intelligent person but have been blessed with support. Take all you can get.
You're right, Kate: you don't owe your readers anything, and I think you should keep that firmly in mind.
You have, however, put yourself 'out there', and so you'll always be open to comment. Do whatever you feel you want, that suits you at the moment; my husband told me a few years ago: "find something that you like doing, and then keep on doing it". The sublime words of Jesus? Gandhi? Mother Theresa? Nelson Mandela? No, just my dozy, upbeat husband, who always seems to come up with something positive, at one's darkest hour.
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